G. Paul Burnett, The New York Times CLOSURE: More and more, people are memorializing their pets, as singer Mariah Carey did in 1997 when she buried Clarence at a pet cemetery near New York.

When Diane Crossman's cat had to be euthanized last year, she wanted to have a lifelong remembrance of the beloved pet she had had for 10 years. She pawprinted the cat, and several months later, when she was emotionally ready, had the image tattooed on her ankle. Now, Ariel goes with her everywhere.

"She's always a part of me now. She was my first pet on my own, and when I look at the tattoo, I think of her," Ms. Crossman says.

At the Clarington Animal Clinic in Clarington, Ont., where Ms. Crossman works, staff pawprint the animals that have died, transfer the print to a sympathy card, sign it and send it to the owners.

More frequently, there is an acknowledgment of the bond lost when a pet dies. Not long ago, you might have been considered silly to do more than swallow a lump in your throat as you left your animal friend behind. Now you can chat online with a support group, call a crisis hotline, have a funeral or plant a tree.

The best way to prepare yourself is to plan ahead, as painful as it may be. Making plans in a rational frame of mind will help you cope later, knowing you made the right decisions.

First, gather information. Go online, read books and talk to people. There is a wealth of information available, and it will help you feel less alone with your situation. Then talk to your veterinarian. Ask what happens during euthanasia. Should you be present? What will happen to the body if you do not want the remains? What about costs?

Make sure your veterinarian is sympathetic to the significance of the loss of a pet. Most are, of course, but you do not want your memories haunted by a "white-coat" approach.

Ask what the clinic's policy is on having other people, and even other pets, in attendance if an animal is to be euthanized. The response could be very indicative.

Talk with your family. Discuss euthanasia -- under what circumstances would you do it?

Talk about the remains. You may personally like the idea of Rex buried in the backyard, but it might be painful for your spouse. Your children might be spooked by the cat's ashes in an urn in the den. You might all agree on a cemetery. Come to a decision and stick with it.

If you choose cremation, find a crematorium online, or ask the clinic which facility it uses and call yourself. If you want to accompany the body, be aware that some places do not deal with the public, so you must do some planning. Again, ask about fees and services.

You can bring your pet yourself, or your veterinarian can make the arrangements. If a communal cremation is done, ashes cannot be returned. It is more expensive for individual cremation, but that may be the solution if you want to create a memorial of your pet. Prices range from about $50 for a communal cremation for a cat to $200 for an individual one. Costs vary according to size and weight, says Scott Hunter of Gateway Pet Memorial Services in Guelph, Ont., and can rise to $2,000 for a horse's cremation.

Mr. Hunter welcomes pet owners who want viewing and visitation, or who wish to place the pet -- in its own bed if so desired -- into the crematorium.

Gateway (www.gatewaypetmem.com) has fulfilled a wide variety of requests from pet owners. It has cremated fish; had clergy at a funeral for a dog, with 17 people in attendance; and has placed toys -- or, as in one case, some cedar boughs from the pet's favourite place -- with the animal. Try to find an organization in your area that is as accommodating; there are many Web sites with nationwide contact information.

If you have the ashes returned, there are many types of boxes and urns to keep them in. You can see examples at www.perfectpeturn.com and www.petboxes.com and more. (Prices may be in U.S. dollars.)

Paul and Sue Dawe sell caskets and urns from their company, Northhumberland Hills Woodworking, in Baltimore, Ont.

If you choose burial, visit a pet cemetery; you will be shown around, be able to choose a plot and grave marker, and you will feel less bewildered on the day you need the cemetery's services.

Costs can vary from $100 to $200 for a plot, plus $50 to $100 for perpetual care, says Lloyd Cowan, owner of Sandy Ridge Pet Cemetery in Eden, Ont.

Mr. Cowan says most owners remain very loyal to their departed pets, visiting the gravesites frequently. "We have more flowers in this cemetery on any given day than they do at the human cemetery in the area," he says. Once all the decisions are made and the time finally comes, grief counsellors overwhelmingly say, you must allow yourself to mourn, and in a way that is most comforting to you.

For those moments when the grief gets difficult to bear, there is always a sympathetic ear available (often not the case at home) from a pet-loss support hotline.

The Ontario Veterinary College has such a hotline. "Our guiding principle," says volunteer Lauren Straub, "is that listening is the best medicine. We are not here to judge the caller's feelings. We are here to validate those feelings ... and we've grown comfortable with silences on the other end."

The hotline, 519- 824-4120, ext. 3694, is staffed Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from 6 to 9 p.m., but if callers leave a message at any other time, they will get a return call within 24 hours.